Unfolding

Stepped into it again with my extended family.  True -- if you think you are spiritually enlightened spend some time with your family of origin.  

My clear intentions were so easily hijacked and I become part of the drama.  Stepping away from the storm and taking time to feel all my crazy emotions.  Attempting to see a bigger picture and my part in creating and sustaining the insanity.  Giving some space to be with -- what should I do or not do next.  

This morning a gift appeared in my e-mail;  words in the weekly newsletter from coach Alan Seal: 

To "see" takes time.  Life moves fast, and we move fast thorough it.  Therefore, we tend to notice only the surface layer of our surroundings.  We see chairs, tables, trees, people, sidewalks, and benches.  Yet if we look more closely, there are patterns, textures, and edges.  And if we engage our intuitive awareness, beyond the patterns and textures, we can sense energies.  

The same is true in our life situations and circumstances.  If we take time to be present with our circumstances - to "see" and feel and sense them - they, too, will reveal themselves to us.  There is a lot of information and guidance hidden within the layers of our lives and experiences.  If we pay attention, everything we need to know will start to reveal itself.  We will understand more fully the essence or core of what is going on:  we will sense what wants to happen in the big picture; and intuitively, we  will be shown our next steps.  We have been conditioned to analyze and fix.  We assume that the only way through our situation is to figure it out and make something happen.  Yet what if there was another way?What if the situation itself could show us everything we need to know?  

Inviting in:

• Letting go of needing to do something to try and fix things.
• Trusting the situation will unfold and I will be shown what to do or not do next  
• Looking for the energy (love) under all the muck.  
• Remembering to take deep breaths, smile and just be. 

Being A Bad Sport

This morning I was with a wonderful women, Laurie, who was very upset about putting her all into a project that did not win the competition.

We live in a society where coming in 2nd may sent a message of not good enough.  How many viewer are disappointed after an Olympic event when their countries flag is flying over the bronze metal recipient.  "We're Number One" is chant many of us remember from youth.  Any vivid memories of the elation of victory or the crash when our team loses?

It hurts to not be chosen, especially when we have given best effort.  Hearing the words "losing builds character" or "this is God's will" or "don't be a bad sport" do not bring much comfort when we are tasting the salty tears traveling down our cheeks.  Losing hurts if we are 7 or 70.

I had the honor this morning of holding a space for grief.  Letting go of the expectation or dream was compounded with strong emotions of conscious and unconscious past loses.  Big girls (and boys) do cry.  It is good to cry.   Giving the feelings permission to be, invites in release, insights and healing.

This wonderful wise women shared this morning "when my emotions are strong I can not think clearly".  After a few minutes Laurie was able to list the gifts of creating and birthing this 2nd place project...

• Enjoyed creating
• Creating increases creativity
• Others had enjoyed supporting creating the project
• Sharing it with others brought joy

When asked "are you complete on this?"  She went inside, tears again filled her eyes and she said "I am being a bad sport".  Who said it is bad to feel sad when we don't get what we want or feel we deserve?  Why would anyone who loves us want to layer guilt and regret on top of the sadness, anger and frustration we are being present with?  Laurie was wise and powerful in hearing and feeling the impact of this old message.  

It was easy to acknowledge Laure for her effort, clarity and wisdom in this situation.   I asked my friend to take on 2 requests:

1. Spend some time being with this loss in a space of curiosity (noticing) and compassion (non judgement).  To think about, feel or journal and see what comes up.  
2. Find ways to celebrate the effort put into creating and sharing the project.  

It takes courage to be present with strong emotions.  Our own emotions and strong emotions of others.  There can be gifts in giving permission to be a bad sport -- as long a we do not hurt our self or others.  

Three Adjectives

Preparing for my Letting Go of Cutter Workshop involved reading a lot of advice from many experts. Most professional organizers spout the basic principals:  let go - before organizing and only keep what you love, need and use.  The philosophy given my Marie Kondo in her Magic of Tidying Up best selling book is --find the treasures and let go of the rest.  A huge shift in deciding what to keep versus what to let go of.

Link to amazon description of the Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up

Can not remember what expert shared the tip for letting go of clothing:

• Choose 3 adjectives to describe the clothing that you want to wear.  
• Ask of  each piece of clothing - does this fit what I want? 

I want clothing that is comfortable, classic and fun.   When trying on each item of clothing in my closet and dresser I asked:

• Is this comfortable? Is this classic?  Is this fun?
• Easy to tell what was comfortable on and putting on.
• Some items were classic or fun, but not both.  

A little different twist to support letting go.  Four bags stuffed with good clothing are ready to be release with ease.   My closet and dresser still have more than I need. Spent a few minutes placing each hanger backwards on the rod, to make it easy to see what I am wearing (or not).

• Remembering to ask before buying clothing if it fits my 3 adjectives.  

What 3 adjectives would you like all your clothing to fit?

Letting Go  Releases Energy to Create a Life You Love. 

Dear You

Just noticed a large metal silver image with the words Dear You hanging on the wall of the Tucson Jewish Community Center.

Wondering:  Why would someone make this?  Why would someone buy this?  What do the words Dear You mean?

Meanings of dear range from: nobel, affection, expensive and heartfelt.
Merium Webster has rhymes.

What do you hold dear

What brings you cheer

Makes things clear

Releases fear

Brings you here (and now)

What do you hold dear?

Who do you hold dear?

Who holds you dear?

There is a sweetness in sending and receiving dear.

Meditation & MIndfulness

Walking the dogs this morning I became very aware of how present and connected to the environment they were.  In all their excitement of moving, smelling and listening  in nature they would take time to pause and stare in a direction.

Being present and pausing - powerful mindfulness practices.

NPR's Science Friday included an interview, last week, about a fun blog (information is beautiful) that shares charts created to understand all kinds of complicated subjects.

The link below is to a poster on Mediation & Mindfulness.

what is meditation /mindfulness good for?

Secret O' Life

"Secret O' Life" played on my Pandora station this morning. The words blew me away... simple, pure & deep. Sent me on an internet quest....

From Wikipedia:
"Secret O' Life" is a song written by James Taylor that first appeared on his 1977 album JT....has been covered by many other artists, including Art Garfunkel, Richie Havens, Nancy LaMott, Rosemary Clooney and Shirley Horn.


My favorite versions on U Tube:

James Taylor with lyrics

Nancy Lamott

Richie Havens

India Arie

Secrets: Questions & Thoughts

Keeping information hidden from others is the definition of a secret.



Why do we keep secrets?

• Shame
• Guilt
• Embarrassment
• Power
• Protection

Why do we keep the secrets of others?
Love or Fear

Why do we tell secrets?

Revenge or Enlightenment

We keep secrets in the dark, hidden and covered up. 

Secrets clutter our lives. Keep us stuck.

Shedding a secret can take many forms:

• Journaling
• Creating a song, collage or story
• Writing a letter (shared or not)
• Counseling
• Sharing with a friend
• Sharing with many

Is the intent of shedding a secret to heal or hurt?

Shinning light on a secret allows us to see it in a new perspective.

Remembering there is more than one right way.

Inviting trust & patience in the process of releasing secrets.

Back Pain

National Public Radio aired an interesting story this morning on back pain.  You can listen to it at:

why indigenous cultures don't have back pain

Five Tips For Better Poster And Less Back Pain accompany the story on the NPR website.  Four of these tips happen when you follow the yoga cues....

• Lift your shoulder to your ears, roll them back and slide the shoulder blades down
• Lift through the crown of the head
• Tuck your chin slightly
• Take a deep breath and sigh it out  
• Do this 3 times

Take a minute to connect with your body and breath.

A simple step to support having a healthy back.

Expectations

Expectation according to Merriam Webster Dictionary

: belief that something will happen or is likely to happen
: a feeling or belief about how successful, good, etc., someone or something will be

Are expectations a good thing? 

"High expectations are the key to everything."

--Sam Walton

Are expectations a bad thing?

"When you have expectations, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

- Ryan Reynolds

We all have expectations:

for ourselves and others, 

from others and 

about life.  

Some expectations are conscious and many unconscious.  Conflicts happen because spoken or unspoken expectations are not met.  Feelings linger when expectations for ourselves, of others or life fall short.

Stephen Hawkings said:

"When one's expectations are reduced to zero, one really appreciates everything one does have." 

Do expectations support or sabotage? 

Letting go of expectations to answer this question and shifting to the question --

How are my expectations supporting or sabotaging my life?  

Courage and Comfort

Merriam Websters Dictionary defines courage as:
 mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty

Courage with a capital C brings images of battles with guns, doctors or lawyers.  Most of my battles ask for courage with a small c.  Beginning or persevering with the project I am resisting; balancing the checking account,  giving the dog a bath or  asking to have a conversation.  

Usually the resistance is more uncomfortable than the task.  Stopping to ask "Where is this resistance coming from?"  generates a little girl voice in my head saying "I just don't want to!".  The resistance of a young child not picking up toys, eating peas or saying "I'm sorry"  because an adult is telling them to. I like this child-like rebellion.  She reminds me to find my own way, to play and ask for what I want.  

Brene Brown shares in an interview with Oprah that "We can choose courage or comfort, but we can't have both.    

view one min interview video

But I want both!  

Merriam Websters Dictionary has 2 meaning for comfort:
:  to give strength and hope to :  cheer
:  to ease the grief or trouble of :  console

Can I have courage with hope and ease?  Taking little steps.  Finding ways to make tasks I am resisting fun.  Celebrate the efforts and completions.  Creating ways to move forward with joy.

RECOMMITMENT

What Does It Mean To Commit? 

To do something that is negative or harmful (commit a crime)

To make a promise to support resources for a purpose (commit ourselves to marriage or work)

3 Commitment Questions

1. When we fall  out of commitment have we committed a crime? 
2. When things change can continued commitment feel like punishment?  
3. With all the internal and external change in our world do forever commitments make sense? 

Last year I made a commitment to blog at least 2 times a month.  Did OK for about 6 months. Not sure what happened - no big negative life event to blame my falling out of my commitment.  I just stopped blogging.  

Have heard: 

Setting a goal in our mind increases our chance of reaching the goal by 10%

Writing a clear goal (what by when) increase the change of success to 30%

Sharing this goal with others increases the probability of accomplishment to 60%

So ...  I am recommitting to:

Blogging at least 2 times a month for the next 4 months.  

A seasonal summer commitment feels lighter, more doable.  This promise to blog supports my intention to share my wisdom, experience and gifts more with others.  

Inviting ease, joy and abundance in stepping forward, out and up.   

Good Morning

It rained yesterday.  A good rain.  The wash (dry river bed) that runs to the west of our property and though the vacant desert land, across the street, north of our home became a stream and then a river. Carrying sand, branches and bits of trash to a new location.

I love being the first human to walk on the newly carpeted sand, still damp from the flow of rain water. Has the feeling of coming home to a clean house, familiar yet infused with a new energy.  The feel of moist sand under my tennis shoes, the sound of near by birds mingling with distance traffic, the quality of light still shaded by a few clouds lingering from the storm, feeding my soul.  

Taking a seat at my turn around point, a slab of concrete illegally dumped decades ago and slowly being covered with grains of displaced sand.  Saying a prayer of gratitude, thank you for the rain, the sun, the sky, the birds and this day.  It is a good morning.

Health & Forgivness

Honoring a message received this morning.  

The corner alter in my living room contains two candles, one to disperse aromatherapy oil the other to send prayers.   A small prayer book with Ganesh on the cover (the elephant header Hindu God who removes obstacles) has a place next to the crystal prayer candle holder.  Mala (prayer) beads surround a small smiling Buddha with uplifted hands.

Most mornings I choose two cards and a stone to place on my alter.

The stone chosen today said "Health".

The Louise Hay Power Thought Card:

• Front: "My healing is already in process." 
• Back:  My willingness to forgive begins my healing process.  I allow the love from my own heart to wash through me, cleansing and healing every part of my body.  I know I am worth healing." 

The Virtues Card:

After several readings of the list of Practices of Forgiveness:  I am inviting in 

"I have the power to change for the better".  

I am worth healing!

Committing to Cleanliness

Why do I struggle with self commitment?  It is easier to be consistent when committing to others, than to practice following through with taking care of  myself.  Simple daily commitments can become a struggle; early to bed and early to rise, no food after 7PM, & moving everyday.

Interesting to watch my excuses for doing or not doing what I have told myself I want to do.  The best is "I deserve this" or  "I want to do this or not do this - right now".  Is being flexible about commitments a gift or a curse?  I think the answer is YES.  Flexibility is a practice.  Commitment is a practice. We fall out of balance to practice getting back into balance - when standing in tree pose on the yoga mat and in finding balance in life.

Interesting the Virtues Card I choose from my deck this morning & the pick I just made from the Virtues Project web site are identical.

Pick your own virtue card at:  Virtues Project

Can You See Me Now?

Fruits, vegetables, pure water, clean air, sleep, and hugs.... if we were playing Scattergories can you guess the topic?  ----  Things That Are Important For Health.

Yesterday while eating a delicious salad at Beyond Bread, I looked at the NY Times Review section.   Lunch out was the date part of a Sunday morning shared visiting plumbing and hardware stores, gathering parts to maintain our evaporative cooler one more season.  As Michael reviewed the news on his smart phone I read an interesting article about eye contact.  

I knew touch was important for infant bonding and development and that hugs can be a kind of vitamin for physical and emotional wellness.   The idea of eye contact being studied in connection to wellness is a new thought.  Makes total sense. Eyes are windows to the soul.  Being seen -- really seen -- feels so good.  I am becoming aware of when this powerful connection happens and when it doesn't.  How simple to look someone in the eye for just a moment and how powerful to have that connection returned.

The title for this blog - Can You See Me Now?  popped into my mind this morning.  As I am typing I realize that the intention I am inviting into my life is:   Can I See You Now?  Just a modern take on the ancient Sanskrit word Namaste --- The light in me sees the light in you.

Enlightenment takes many forms....

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/05/17/sunday-review/the-eyes-have-it.html?partner=rss&emc=rss&_r=0

Paying Attention & Celebrating Support

I begin my daily (or frequent ) intention prayer with:
I am grateful for Spirits abundant support and guidance.

The first step of gratitude is paying attention  For me this means noticing the abundance, support and guidance that shows up in my life.

This last week has been filled with flowers.  More flowers than I have ever received!

1.  On Wednesday I purchased an inexpensive bouquet of flowers for myself.  Yellow daisy's. pink alstromeneria and mums with one large sunflower.  Flowers that tend to last a few days, even as our days are transitioning from spring to summer temperatures.

2.  Friday morning I connected with a dear friend, Helen.   To my great surprise she brought beautiful tangerine tulips.

3.  Friday evening my beloved came home with not one, but 3, bunches of flowers.  Something Michael had never done in our 38 years together.  All my vases in use, I played with placing the abundant choices of flowers and greens together.

4.  Sunday night my sons girlfriend, Valerie,  gifted me a mothers day bouquet.  Smiling I arranged these in a large Mason Jar.

On Saturday my son, Sean, took me to a Market On the Move event.  For a $10 donation we left with 2 boxes of melons, tomatoes, tomatillos, yellow peppers and squash.  The tomatillos were the catalyst for making my first batch of Salsa Verde.

I end my daily intention prayer with:
My heart is open to giving and receiving love and abundance.  

Taking time to pay attention to the abundance of flowers, food and beautiful people in my life.

Thank you Universe for the gift of time to reflect, celebrate and share your support.

May we all notice and celebrate the abundant gifts in our lives - with ease and grace.

Keys To Letting Go

I have stepped into spring cleaning in a unique way.  Tomorrow will be the 3rd session in of a 4 part "Clearing Clutter" workshop at Oro Valley Library.

Session 1 Clutter Awareness:  34 amazing individuals showed up to explore letting go of clutter with me.  We looked at the definition of clutter, identified personal areas of clutter and examined the benefits and costs of clutter.  A key awareness about clutter is knowing what is clutter and how we can best let it go is unique for each of us and changes with time.

Session 2 Clutter Acceptance:  39 wonderful people attended.  The room was filled, the technology working fine.  One minute before we stated the computer failed.  Two librarians could not get it restarted.  No space for fear or anxiety.  No time for blame or worry thoughts.  I asked "As a child where did you feel safe?"  Real or imagined, alone or with others, inside or outside.  I then asked "As an adult were do you feel safe?"  The answers were as diverse as the individuals in the room.  We explored what supports feeling safe, centered and present.

Clutter is delayed decisions.  So the process of letting go of clutter is making these decisions.  Being aware of out beliefs, thoughts, feelings and behaviors -- without judging them -- is a key.  Awareness, Acceptance and then Adjustment.  When we can see funky feelings and stinking thinking with compassion we can shift them from harmful to helpful.

Fun & Gluten Free

Ever have an National Public Radio moment -- where you stop what you are doing to really listen to what is being shared?   I became engrossed in a Fresh Air interview this week.  Terry Gross interviewed 2 editors of the new America's Test Kitchen - How Can It Be Gluten Free Cookbook.  The science of cooking is amazing.

Hear the interview and see some fun gluten free recipes at:

http://www.npr.org/2014/03/20/291873792/test-kitchen-have-your-gluten-free-cake-and-love-eating-it-too

Over Stuffed

Stuff creeps into our lives and multiples.

Where did that pile of clothes, books or rocks come from?

How did the desk, kitchen table or counter become so cluttered? 

Our homes overflow with:

• Pantries filled with enough food to feed a family for 6 months
• Tools we don't use or that don’t work
• Toys – drawers, shelves, boxes overflowing with toys
• Supplies for projects gathering dust
• Clothes we have not fit into for a long time
• Multiples of reading glasses, scissors, nail clippers.... yet where is one when needed? 

An over abundance of stuff zaps our energy, clutters our space and confuses our thinking.  Yet we struggle to let stuff go.  Even the stuff we no longer use or like -- can cling to us.

Instead of letting things go we tend to stuff our stuff into drawers, closets, and storage sheds.  We purchase plastic containers and pretty boxes for keeping stuff, not because we use it, but because we are not ready to let it go. 

We know what to do.  Some of us have:

• Worked with a professional, friend or family member to help us organize
• Read books to re-organize home or office spaces.
• Read articles in magazines and on the web to support de-cluttering
• Watched Clean Sweep, Clean House and Hoarders on TV

We may know what to do and yet struggle to do it, even when we see our stuff robbing us of:

 time, productivity, creativity, connection with others and peace of mind. 

Can we learn to let go of what no longer severs us with ease? 

This is the goal of a 4 – part Clearing Clutter Workshop,  I am piloting at Oro Valley Public Library. 

Part 1:  Clutter: Awareness Tuesday March 25th 9:30 – 11:00am Part 2:  Clutter: Acceptance

    Tuesday April 1^st 9:30 – 11:00am

Part 3:  Clutter: Adjustments and Actions Tuesday April 8th 9:30 – 11:00am Part 4:  Clutter: Invisible Clutter

    Tuesday April 15^th  9:30 – 11:00am

Yoga With A Dentist

Glancing at the clock, very aware this root cannel procedure is taking longer than the 90 minutes appointment.  Thinking:   Can an open mouth be an asana?   How long can I hold this edge?  Translating the words “we are almost done” to the voice of my yoga teacher saying, “take three more deep breaths” while holding plank.

Fast forward to this morning and reading a short section from Attitudes of Gratitude:  How to Give and Receive Joy Every Day of Your Life by M. J. Ryan:  

“Is the world a wonderful place or a hellhole?  All of us know the answer to that depends on our attitude on any give day.  Has the world changed?  Most likely our thinking about it has.   When we consciously cultivate positive attitudes such as love, joy and gratitude, we “remake” the world. “

Yesterday in the dental chair, breathing through my nose, I practiced gratitude. 

Grateful for:

• Clear sinuses
• Amazing technology to find and fix a root infection
• Gentle hands of a very young desist
• The new assistances desire to learn
• Time for a nap after the appointment
• Dental insurance

Life coaching teaches: 

What We Focus On Expands

Kripalu yoga teaches:

Practice Curiosity and Compassion 

Life is good when I remember to ride the waves of life just noticing and letting go of judgments.  

There is power and peace in focusing on gratitude.