Expectation according to Merriam Webster Dictionary
: belief that something will happen or is likely to happen : a feeling or belief about how successful, good, etc., someone or something will be
Are expectations a good thing?
"High expectations are the key to everything."
Are expectations a bad thing?
"When you have expectations, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
- Ryan Reynolds
We all have expectations:
for ourselves and others,
from others and
Some expectations are conscious and many unconscious. Conflicts happen because spoken or unspoken expectations are not met. Feelings linger when expectations for ourselves, of others or life fall short.
Stephen Hawkings said:
"When one's expectations are reduced to zero, one really appreciates everything one does have."
Do expectations support or sabotage?
Letting go of expectations to answer this question and shifting to the question --
How are my expectations supporting or sabotaging my life?
Merriam Websters Dictionary defines courage as: mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty Courage with a capital C brings images of battles with guns, doctors or lawyers. Most of my battles ask for courage with a small c. Beginning or persevering with the project I am resisting; balancing the checking account, giving the dog a bath or asking to have a conversation. Usually the resistance is more uncomfortable than the task. Stopping to ask "Where is this resistance coming from?" generates a little girl voice in my head saying "I just don't want to!". The resistance of a young child not picking up toys, eating peas or saying "I'm sorry" because an adult is telling them to. I like this child-like rebellion. She reminds me to find my own way, to play and ask for what I want. Brene Brown shares in an interview with Oprah that "We can choose courage or comfort, but we can't have both. view one min interview video But I want both! Merriam Websters Dictionary has 2 meaning for comfort: : to give strength and hope to:cheer : to ease the grief or trouble of:console
Can I have courage with hope and ease? Taking little steps. Finding ways to make tasks I am resisting fun. Celebrate the efforts and completions. Creating ways to move forward with joy.
To do something that is negative or harmful (commit a crime)
To make a promise to support resources for a purpose (commit ourselves to marriage or work)
3 Commitment Questions
When we fall out of commitment have we committed a crime?
When things change can continued commitment feel like punishment?
With all the internal and external change in our world do forever commitments make sense?
Last year I made a commitment to blog at least 2 times a month. Did OK for about 6 months. Not sure what happened - no big negative life event to blame my falling out of my commitment. I just stopped blogging.
Setting a goal in our mind increases our chance of reaching the goal by 10%
Writing a clear goal (what by when) increase the change of success to 30%
Sharing this goal with others increases the probability of accomplishment to 60%
So ... I am recommitting to:
Blogging at least 2 times a month for the next 4 months.
A seasonal summer commitment feels lighter, more doable. This promise to blog supports my intention to share my wisdom, experience and gifts more with others.
Inviting ease, joy and abundance in stepping forward, out and up.